Archive for May 25th, 2011
Beer Pong at an Irish Pub
At $6 a game for beer pong you can play the game at a bar called Big Red’s Irish Pub & 
Pong. The owner Ryan Smithson, son of downtown bar mogul Larry Smithson, is using to beer pong tables to play on.You can find this garden-level bar on Forth Street, that has opened on St. Patty’s day.
This is the story told by: Erin Rudolf.
9:25 p.m. We arrive at Big Red’s Pub & Pong on a Saturday night. I attempt to order a Stella Artois. The bartender peruses the liquor bottles before telling me the bar doesn’t carry it. I decide it is best not to explain Stella is a beer and opt for a Bud Light instead.
9:26 p.m. We spot a Jesse Camp (former MTV VJ) look-alike standing at the bar. His highlighted, shoulder-length hair is teased and hair sprayed into a wild, stringy mess atop his head. And though the sun has long set and we’re all inside a garden-level bar with no windows, he’s wearing sunglasses. He’s on his way out. “Onward!” he exclaims, thrusting his pointer finger in the air, commanding the two-person entourage to follow behind. Too bad: I’m sure this guy could have provided enough fodder for an entire night’s worth of ridiculousness.
9:39 p.m. We spot four people near the entrance playing beer pong on one of the bar’s two dedicated sporting tables. A guy wearing a too-small T-shirt humps the table in rhythm to Katy Perry’s “California Girls” in an attempt to distract his opponent, a middle-aged woman with a plunging neckline, who is tasked with bouncing a ping-pong ball across the table into her opponents’ plastic cups filled with beer. The distraction works, as the ball ends up plinking around on the floor until it’s retrieved by a nearby drinker. This attempt to thwart each other’s game will progress in severity as the night goes on.
9:50 p.m. Tight Tee is again swiveling his hips, this time making kissy motions to “Born this Way” by Lady Gaga. His plight is unsuccessful, as the featherweight ball bounces off the table and lands effortlessly into a cup. He plucks it out and chugs the cup’s contents.
9:56 p.m. Tight Tee lifts his shirt, rubbing his treasure trail to distract Plunging Neckline. On the next turn, Plunging Neckline bends over the table, practically placing her bosoms on the rims of the plastic cups. An older gentleman propped up against the wall snaps a picture on his phone, admires the result, then appears to send a photo message.
10:03 p.m. A bartender grabs a microphone to announce the night’s beer pong tourney, scheduled to start at 10:30 p.m. First place wins a $75 bar tab, second a $25 bar tab, and third, a measly T-shirt.
10:08 p.m. Tight Tee loses. A valiant effort, but his hips were no match for Plunging Neckline’s assets and her partner, who is sporting penny loafers.
10:10 p.m. We notice a physically imposing 20something guy wearing a black Tapout shirt. He walks in, stands at the bar for a few minutes and leaves before ordering a drink.
10:17 p.m. The second Ke$ha song of the night. It’s followed by the second Lady Gaga song of the night. I’m convinced they’re playing the nation’s Top 20, so long as the Top 20 is comprised of only five or six artists.
10:28 p.m. Tapout returns and buys a drink for a five-foot-nothing girl wearing a hat that says “Team Snooki.”
10:30 p.m. Tourney start time comes and goes, and the beer pong tables are vacant. We hear nothing more regarding the tournament while we’re here. These particular bargoers must not have the enthusiasm for such undertakings.
10:31 p.m. Tapout gets “iced.” He bends his knees, his rear end perched on his heels, striped boxer briefs hanging out of his Diesel jeans. He tilts a bottle up over his head and chugs its contents within a matter of seconds. Yes, the entire bottle. Of the Zima of the 21st century: Smirnoff Ice.
10:33 p.m. Enrique Iglesias’ “Baby, I Like It” plays for the second time. We like to fist pump to Iglesias as much as the next guy, but two times in one hour? Almost anyone would agree that’s a bit much.
10:39 p.m. Ke$ha again.
10:40 p.m. Tapout kneels down and slams another Smirnoff. Strangely, the ladies around him seem to be impressed with his ability to put down the malt liquor. I’m beginning to understand why the bartender doesn’t know Stella Artois is beer. Malt liquor and domestic beer appear to be the drinks of choice.
10:45 p.m. Good god: Lady Gaga song No. 3.
10:56 p.m. Tapout chugs another Smirnoff while another sits on the bar, and yet another with its bottle cap intact peeks out of his back pocket. It’s getting harder and harder to pass this off as a bet from his buddies. He must actually enjoy it.
11:03 p.m. Yet another Smirnoff. I’m getting gut rot just watching, and decide it’s time to leave. Final tally for the night: three Lady Gaga songs, two Pink, two Enrique Iglesias, three Ke$ha.
Big Red’s Irish Pub & Pong
Find it: 207 Fourth St.
Hours: 11 a.m.-2 a.m. Monday through Saturday
Info: 778-6349, or search Facebook